“In My Culture…” CEG Brainstorming Exercise
Last updated on 06/18/2026 by Ethan Sawyer
The idea
Here’s something worth sitting with: You don’t just belong to one culture.
Of course, there’s the big stuff – your nationality, your ethnicity, your religion (or lack thereof), the region you grew up in. But layered beneath it all is something smaller and stranger: a set of rules, values and beliefs yours specifically. Collected over the years from your parents’ quirks, the things that drove you crazy about your friends, the moments that made you leave why doesn’t everyone do it this way?
You can think of this as something like a “microculture”. Our friend and writer Duncan Sabien wrote a beautiful piece that explores the idea of the cultures we inhabit. His idea (that we’re building on and borrowing heavily from here): even two people who grew up in the same town, went to the same school, watched the same shows—they’re still going to differ in hundreds of small, meaningful ways.
We would write different constitutions. Various churches have been found. Build different schools.
And the phrase he uses (borrowed from another friend) to name those differences? “In my culture…”
As in: “In my culture, you don’t keep plans for the day unless something is really wrong.”
Or: “In my culture, a good argument is a sign of respect, not a sign of conflict.
Or: “In my culture, the kitchen table is where everything important happens.
These statements are not universal claims. They are not requests. They are just you, be honest about the version of the world you carry in your head.
That’s what this exercise is about: discovering what’s in your culture. In your culture.
Here’s how to dive:
CEG “In my culture…” brainstorming exercise.
Part 1 – Get your bearings
Read these examples of “In my culture…” statements. They are from real people, but not from the same person.
Notice which ones feel familiar and which ones feel foreign.
- In my culture, being on time means being five minutes early. Being late is disrespectful.
- In my culture, we don’t say “I love you” – we ask if you’ve eaten.
- In my culture, if you’re bad at something, you keep doing it until you’re not. To give up is shameful.
- In my culture, you can disagree loudly at dinner and still be best friends after dessert.
- In my culture, boys don’t cry. (I’m still learning this.)
- In my culture, driving home from school is sacred. That’s where you actually talk.
- In my culture, anything worth doing is worth overdoing.
- In my culture, you earn trust once and lose it forever.
- In my culture, feelings are private. You deal with them yourself.
- In my culture, showing off is awkward, no matter how good you are.
Which of these made you nod? Which got you thinking no, not in mine? Both reactions are beneficial.
Part 2 – Dig into yours
Work through the instructions below. Don’t filter yourself. Don’t try to sound impressive. Just write quickly and honestly – messy notes are fine here.
Your people
- What are the unspoken rules in your family? The things no one said out loud but everyone knew?
- What did your parents or guardians do that you swore you would either keep doing or never do again?
- Is there anything your family takes seriously that most people your age don’t seem to care about? Or vice versa?
- What does “being a good person” look like in your household? And for you, specifically? How does it differ from how your friends define it?
Your friction points
- What’s something that bothers you—honestly bothers you—that most people seem fine with?
- Think of a time when you felt out of place or misunderstood. What was the culture clash like under that moment?
- Is there an argument you keep having—with friends, online, in your head—that seems to really be about values and not just the surface topic?
- What do people in your school or community seem to believe that you quietly (or not so quietly) disagree with?
Your default settings
- How do you deal with people who struggle? How is it different from how others around you do it?
- What does loyalty mean to you? What does that require?
- When something goes wrong, what’s your first instinct – fix it, feel it out, or find out who’s responsible?
- What do you owe the people you love? What do they owe you?
Your little things
- What is the habit, ritual, or miracle that you would really miss if they disappeared from your life?
- Is there something small—a word, a gesture, a tradition—that carries more weight for you than it probably should?
- What’s a rule you follow that you’ve never actually explained to anyone?
Part 3 – write your list
Now write your own “In my culture…” statements. Aim for at least ten. Don’t worry if they’re big or small, obvious or weird – just put them down.
A few tips:
- Be specific. “In my culture, family comes first” is a bumper sticker. “In my culture, you drive four hours to be at a table, even if you’re sitting there.”– that’s a statement.
- Name the rule, not the value (but keep in mind the values you’re pointing to). No “I believe in honesty” but “In my culture, you tell someone the hard stuff, never behind their back.”
- Allow yourself to be contradictory. The real people are. (Side note: Those kinds of contradictory tensions can be great writing anyway.
Part 4 – Find the ones that matter
Go back through your list. For each statement, ask yourself two questions:
- Is this actually true? Not just something you believe in theory – but something that shows up in how you actually live?
- Is this clear to me? Could half the people at your school write the same thing, or is this specific to you, your family, your experience?
Circle the three to five that are true and clearly yours. And consider revising others to make them true and your own, if you will.
Part 5 – Match a statement with a story
For each of your circled statements, try to recall a specific scene—a unique moment or experience when this value occurred in real life.
Not a general pattern. Scene. One day. Conversation. What was said, what was done, what happened next.
Write a quick paragraph about each one. It does not need to be polished. You are just looking for: Does this value actually have a story associated with it?
If so, you’ve found material.
Part 6-Search for the thread (optional, but worth a try)
Read your statements and stories together.
- Is there a theme that works under several of them? A way of being in the world that connects the dots?
- Could one of your “In my culture…” statements serve as a lens—a way of looking at your life that explains why you care about the things you care about?
This is where brainstorming can help shape expository essay. If you find that thread, stick to it.
Further reading: This exercise was inspired by a piece by Duncan Sabien called “In my culture.” If you want to see the full idea in action – and read one person’s remarkably honest account of their own microculture – it’s worth a look.
How to cite this exercise
Andrew Simpson/College Man Essay (2026, April 23). “In my culture…” brainstorming exercise. College essay boy. https://www.collegeessayguy.com/blog/in-my-culture-es…torming-exercise
